I’m squashed against cold, uncompromising concrete, once a wall, floor, or some other part of the body of this tower of babel. My own, broken, pointless body is twisted and pinned, as if it were a poor mutilated butterfly in a collection of countless other sacrificial victims, by a mass of writhing metal.

A sharp finger of this metal must have pierced my skin somewhere, because the hand on my outflung arm can feel hot liquid. Maybe if I can just move my arm-find my face-it’s so dark-yep, there it is-to taste it…. Yeah that’s blood, mine, or somebody else’s…..Hello! Hello…?
(coughs, breathes irregularly)

Oh God I’m so cold, so cold. Must be loss of blood-and it was such a warm day today-Is! Is such a warm day. Somewhere, out there.

To be honest, it’s quite difficult to speak-every time I open my mouth I swallow acrid dust and fumes. It stinks like hell down here…..burning smells, getting worse by the minute, kind of like cooking bacon. Is this the smell of burning flesh? Is this what Auschwitz smelt like? Oh God, I shouldn’t have thought that! I don’t want to burn! Don’t think about it, don’t think about it….

What’s that noise? Can you hear that? A scratching and dragging sound….scratch-drag, scratch-draaaag…it’s coming towards me! Do you think there’s someone else here with me? Someone else alive?! Hello? Hello! Is anybody there? Are you alright?
Hah! What a laugh. What are the chances?

Hello! Can you hear me?

The scratch-drag, scratch-drag is getting faster, it’s starting to freak me out actually-I feel like I’m in a horror movie.

Uh-oh. It’s stopped.

Hellooooo-ooooo?

Nope. Tell you what, I’ll have a feel around, see what I can find. It sounded very close…

(flings arm out as far as possible, gropes around. Abruptly jerks back arm)

UUUURGH! Oh my god, oh my god, this is just not my day.

(shakes hand in disgust, wipes it as best she can. Looks at audience)

Let’s just say whoever he or she was, they are not with us anymore. Neither is his or her’s leg.

Quite relieved actually. I mean, what could I have done? I got enough problems of my own right now.

Let’s face it, I’m almost certainly gonna kick the bucket. I’m getting colder by the minute, I can’t feel the lower half of my body any more, and there must be hundreds of poor sods trapped in this wreckage! It must be absolute mayhem out there. I haven’t got a hope of being rescued. Might as well make my peace with the situation

I knew that was it for me when I saw the first plane hit the other tower. I knew what would happen next. We all did, in that office, standing by the window.

It’s funny; you’d expect more of a reaction-panic, screaming, praying, chaos. But the six of us in that room were still and silent, just staring at each other, like a still from a movie. It was only a few seconds, but something weird happened to time, those seconds lasted for hours. I could hear the commotion outside in the corridor, running and shouting, but it didn’t seem related.

Then time caught up with us, the pause button was released, and I threw myself on the floor. God knows why. But how could any of us know what to do in a situation like that? It’s not like they give you training on your first day.

I can’t remember a lot after that. All I know is, not long after, the whole world shook, and I fell, I fell a long way, like Alice falling down the well, I never seemed to land. Then I did. And hot pain shot through me. So now here we are. Preparing to meet the maker.

(Sudden shock of pain makes her groan and writhe. The pain passes and she relaxes. Starts to sob quietly)

Oh God, why? Why me, why now, why did this happen today? Am I really such a bad person that I deserve to die like this? If I say sorry, if I repent, will you save me from this hell?

I’m sorry! I’m sorry, what I did was wrong, I was selfish, I see that now! But look at me, I’m suffering, I’m paying for my sins now, isn’t that enough? If I’m saved I’ll be paralysed for sure, but I’ll be alive! I’ll still be able to feel the rain on my shoulders, to taste bitter coffee on my lips, to see my little girl’s face.

I’ll be a good mum, from now on, I promise, the best, most wonderful mum in the world. But you’ve got to give me a chance to prove it to you . Please?!

(falls silent, head cocked, listening. Shakes head, defeated)

No answer. Well, what did I expect? A herd of choral angels to descend from heaven and magic me out of here? For time to reserve itself? No use trying to strike a deal with the God. I sold my soul to the Devil long ago.

I gave up my daughter, you see. Disowned her, cast her out onto the wilderness. Well, England, to my sister’s welcoming, self-sacrificing arms. Smug bitch.

Well what was I supposed to do, for god’s sake? It was inconvenient, I was just starting out on a high-flying, super-dooper career, am I supposed to sacrifice all that for a life of unfulfilled drudgery, for a brat that won’t appreciate it?

She’s better off with her auntie and my mother. I mean, yeah, they are a bit strict. Devout Catholics you see. All God this, sin that, church every Sunday. And yeah, mum always was a bit too handy with the belt… but I mean look at me! It never did me any harm, did it?

Oh Christ. What have I done? My beautiful Lilly, my beautiful little girl, what have I done to you? Thrown you away as though you were a piece of rubbish messing up my clean, tidy, stupid life!

I was supposed to meet her at the airport today, you know. My sister brought her over for a holiday, some worthy plan of hers, so I could get to know the child, develop some sort of relationship. I was going to take her shopping, for new dollies, or whatever she’s into.

But I backed out, Said my sister would have to take her out.Look, I had an important meeting at work, it would have looked so unprofessional if I wasn’t there, especially as I’m pushing for promotion.

So? So I sold my baby down the river again. For what? A few extra bucks. A chance to rip off a few more suckers?

Does any of that matter? What is success anyway? Is it money, power, status? I don’t know what any of that means anymore. Maybe success is something else. Maybe we don’t need to believe in money and power, or even in God. So what’s left? Maybe we just need to believe in each other…..